"Our Battles"

Our battles are repetious
if not broken poetry
and maybe that's the attraction
that you're as self-absorbed as me

You jumped to the conclusion
and landed on my chest
Now how am I supposed to make you see.

I'll just write this down
with hopes that you'll understand
I can no longer be disciplined by
the frustration of an insecure man
And as I kiss your face you'll know that
I can no longer apologize for
your former lover's mistakes.

My past is mine to keep
Who are you to question me...?
Perhaps someday you'll learn
Too bad
it's not our turn

Calm under the waves

I walk barefoot where the water drowns the sand
with you no longer here to hold my hand

I let go
I let go

The ocean makes my swelling heart feel small
With the sounds it makes you won't hear it if I call
I let go
I let go

There's a breeze in the air
There's a boat anrchored out here
There's a calm under the waves so I choose to sink

Your skin protected me from sunbeams
Your hands made sure I'd stay intact
I let go
I let go

You were always there to walk me home
With you not here, the streets I roam
I let go
I let go

There's a breeze in the air
There's a boat anrchored out here
There's a calm under the waves as I choose to sink
With your voice in my head
I would float here instead
But there's a calm under the waves
So I choose to sink

I'm tired now
I'll see you when I wake up
I've heard it's pretty where you are
I let go
I let go
There's a breeze.

Gk coffee experience

GK BATANGAS

“Kapeng Barako, My Gk coffee experience.”

I’ve been sleeping in different Gk sites since summer started, and I realized that we shouldn’t underestimate our less fortunate brothers and sisters.

Why? Because in Gk sites, I was always pampered by the families and they served yummy dishes for us. Gk really does bring out the Filipino culture of being hospitable to their guests.

Every Gk site that I visit, I make sure that my Gk story in that site will always be worth sharing for, and worth remembering. And so I made the most out of my 3 days and two night stay in Gk Batangas.

For the first night, we were then distributed to our families. The house that I went into had no electricity. It was night time when we arrived so I had to use my flash light whenever I searched for my things. As usual, we slept on the thin ply wood because the floor was purely made of cement. I had no complaints because I had already slept for like a week in GK Dingalan, Aurora.

So when we woke up, my back was already crying in pain. But we still went on because we had this Bayani challenge—sort of like amazing race. It was fun to visit 5 different Gk sites in a day! I will never forget the kids from Gk Kalayaan who wrote me letters before I left, and even texted me five minutes after I left their place.

After the race has ended, we went back to Gk Rcal and had this mini group presentation. While I was playing with the kids from Gk Rcal, I tripped and fell from this gutter because it was already dark. My knee was bleeding and I was crying in pain but luckily, the villagers were so accommodating and helped me out right away.

After that incident, all the villagers kept on asking me how I was, if I was okay and all that. I wasn’t surprised because people from GK villages have always been very nice to me. When I got to my family’s house, my friend and I were talking about the famous “Kapeng barako”. Of course, I wouldn’t want to leave that place without trying their specialty. Batangas is known for their very delicious coffee—“kapeng barako”. It was 5:34 am when I checked my cell phone and I over heard Tita Lory and her husband talking about the conversation which they over heard last night.

As I was telling you awhile ago, Tita Lory’s family had no electricity and they both had no jobs to support their family. I heard Tita Lory said to his husband that we wanted to try the “Kapeng Barako” but she said that they do not have money anymore. So her husband told her to borrow money from the neighborhood instead since it’s our last day in their house already and they might not see us again.

I was half-awake when I heard them talking so I went back to sleep. When I woke up, I smelled this wonderful aroma of “Kapeng Barako” right under my nose. The couple was both smiling at me as they served me hot pandesal and kapeng barako. I wanted to cry because I felt guilty that I had to let them borrow money just so I could taste that coffee.

That was the most delicious breakfast I ever tasted in my entire life. They even sent me coffee that I can bring home for my mom, and they even harvested fresh tomatoes from the farm nearby. After eating breakfast, we had this fiesta during lunch time with the families. I didn’t get to eat because what I ate during breakfast could almost last me a lifetime.

And so we said our farewells to our families. I wanted to cry, but then I said to myself that there is no need for me to cry because I know for sure that I will come back to the place where even having breakfast at Tiffany’s wouldn’t still amount to all the love that I got from my family.

Beyond Beautiful

       Last Thursday was course cards day. I was all giddy to go to school coz I got a new haircut but I was a little nervous coz I might fail my subject in statistics. Thank God I got a 2.0! I was expecting 0.0 in that subject! Then after one whole day of going from one building to another, I finally got my average. Too bad I didn’t make it to the deans list. I just got 2.9 – just .1 and I’ll be able to get it to the honors roll. Well that’s okay coz I was really not focusing on my studies this term. I could have done better. I shouldn’t have cut classes. But even if I got low grades, I can say that this is probably one of my best terms in DLSU. I was actually having too much fun and busy with Gawad Kalinga but I think its all worth it.  “In the end, what matters most is the relationship you established with your friends.” Same goes with Gawad Kalinga (haha, Clarisse would always laugh at me whenever I compare relationships/love/commitments/school to Gawad Kalinga).

       This term has been really great. Finally, I was able to do what I really want. I was able to visit 5 other gk sites, and the people from GK are just so amazingly beautiful. I wrote something about my “GK coffee experience” in Batangas. I’ll just post it again here. I have been thinking a lot lately about myself, Gawad Kalinga in DLSU and my friends who felt really neglected coz I spent most of my time in GK. That’s why I forgot that it was the awarding of Ramon Magsaysay on that same day! My gosh, I was wearing my short shorts and havaianas!!! But I don’t care, coz I just really wanted to be there and support Gk, hear Tito Tony’s very very inspiring speech! But I also prepared myself if ever I don’t get I, I’ll just take a cab going back to dlsu and spend some time with tina! God I miss her! So I went there with Clarisse(my best girlfriend in gk), niki(thanks for being always around!!!) and Tino(some new guy from YFC). When we came in, we saw Greg and Pdo wearing really formal clothes! Haha. I miss them both!!! After the superdiduper inspiring message from Tito Tony and Tito frank, Clarisse and I became ecstatic again for Gk! Our passion is overflowing with love for Gk and we talk about it 24/7! Oh God I am so loving Clarisse right now!!! I remember Tito Tony said that we should stop blaming and just work together. Gawad Kalinga is the perfect way to reconnect the motherland, and bring back what is lost. And that is our dignity as Filipinos. Tito Frank said that the people are often lost, because they always dread what’s going to happen in the future. The roots of poverty are selfishness and injustice. We must fight the ugliness of poverty, and think less for ourselves. We should strive to make a difference in uplifting the lives of the poor. Let us all respond to a call to heroism in building a nation.

“We are the bearers of light and hope; to a world of Darkness. Let us not be a part of the problem, but rather be the solution.”

       After the event, we went out for cocktails and look around the crowd. We saw tito Rico of GK Batangas!! So Clarisse and I became really jumpy again and so we went to him and hugged tito Rio coz we miss him terribly!!! Then as we were walking around, guess who we saw?!? Or shall I say “GUESS WHO SAW ME?!?” hahaha. I just saw Calvin wearing a barong tagalong and I’m like wearing shorts and rubber slippers! He kissed me on the cheek! Haha! He even asked me why I don’t text him… and he even asked me how my surprise party was! Aaaw. I miss that guy so much! Then I came up to this couple who wore this shirt that has my province’s name at the back. I asked for their contact number because I wanted to visit the gk villages in my hometown! As I was talking to that couple, Calvin came up to us and hugged the couple right in front of me! I said to him that I can’t believe he visits my province more often than I do! He said he loves my province so much! I was really touched because he goes there more often than me and he already established relationships with the people even if he’s a foreigner. Calvin is my ideal gk guy J he’s really really amazing! So we left at around 7:30 and went back to school. Clarisse got her last grade and we had my favorite fudge brownie ice cream! Yummy!!!!

       So the day after, Clarisse and I were suppose to go to the Heritage to attend another awarding ceremony but something came up, so Clarisse had to go home and I just met up with Tina in G4 and watched The devil wears Prada! Love that movie! Tina and I finally spent on something really worth it! Coz usually we end up spending all our money on food! Haha. I miss hanging out with Tina L coz every single day since this term started; I was always hanging out with her. Finally, we were able to watch a movie! I also got to talk to her. She even said something that really made me cry that night. Last March, when Greg gave me this position, I was really scared of one thing. I didn’t really want to become the Gk Chair because I knew I will be dedicating my entire time for Gk. I knew I had to sacrifice my weekends-- my only time to hang out with my friends since I was in 6^th grade, I knew I also had to put up with my mom whenever she wants me to rest instead of working and going to Gk sites because I am an only child, I knew also that I will have lesser time for myself and for the people that I love too. Its always true when they say that “great things comes with great responsibility”. I was never really considering myself to have a position. I was already happy playing around with the kids of Gk. I was already contended with building relationships with all the people from the village and yet I still had time to balance everything. But I knew I had to do something more than that. Greg gave me the power to inspire the whole la sallian community, and even other universities who are part of gk. But I really think its more than that. My only fear was that I might not be able to please the people in DLSU, I knew for sure that I wouldn’t become as great as greg. That will never happen because when I started last march, I was only involved in Gk for like 5 months and I never even knew it has a structure! I thought it was only greg and coach who spent most of their time in gk because sam, fonz and I were with him every single Saturday since November till march. So I told greg that I’m really scared of accepting not because I never expected myself to be in that position but because I had no experience at all!

       Greg told me that leadership in not important. “Gk is a movement of the intelligent heart, and not the inteligent mind.” When there are times that I just want to break down and cry because there are some people who don’t believe in me, I just recall these lines that Tito Tony once said. It’s just so disappointing how people can become so pessimistic about everything. If you think I do not deserve to work for Gk, then better tell it right in front of my face and take my position. I have worked my ass off for this, sacrificed a lot of things and I just can’t believe all these things I am hearing. That is the common problem in the Philippines nowadays. That’s why were not progressing. Instead of complaining and comparing, why not do something about it? Why not get yourself involved and do something about it? The only person who has the right to judge are the person who are working full time for gk, and some people who spend most of their time (even if its term break) for gk, just like Clarisse or niki. You don’t also have to be full time to prove yourself worthy. I don’t want to plead for help because what’s good about gk is that people just simply want to get themselves to be part of it, just like the big time partner companies of gk. Tito Tony even said before that it doesn’t matter if some people think that it’s just another added work for them that it becomes obligations for their part because gk will move on without them. Gk is getting bigger and bigger each day. There are approximately 2 communities being built each day and I just hope everyone takes part in this revolution of love and peace towards God’s kingdom.

“STOP COMPLAINING, AND START WORKING”

      Yes I know, too many things are needed to be discussed but there is little time remaining. You’ll never know until when or how long you will live. That’s why we have to make the most out of everything. I would rather take the risk of getting hurt than to never really experience how great things will be because of what I did.

       The next day was really great. I woke up at 6am then went straight ahead to baseco with deb, my family friend who’s visiting over from Amsterdam. I had to drag her off the bed because it was really early and we slept at around 2 am the night before so we were too tired! Anyway, we came early so I had to go straight to Starbucks coffee and wear my uniform to serve coffee and food! Greg was there to help out too!

       After that, Coach asked me to share in front of the Xavier boys! Gosh, I can’t believe I was given the opportunity to share after Dylan’s talk! Haha! After that I went back to Stabucks again and helped out in serving! Then by lunch time, I got to visit my family in baseco. Unfortunately, they had to leave right away so they gave me their house key so I can leave my stuff at their place. Haha. Lucky me! Don’t ask what happened in the afternoon when Clarisse, Tina, Deb and I opened the house. Hahaha! That was really embarrassing! Haha! So after that greg did the third talk while Clarisse Coach and I were busy making fun of Jerick and taking pictures of him and deb! Haha. It was a tiring, but really inspiring day coz I got to meet the people from LYC again! We had so much fun talking about starting GKYs in their own schools!!! We left at around 5pm, good thing Jerick brought us to the Heritage hotel to meet up deb’s boss. So stayed there for a few minutes and left right away and went to their house. After that we slept until 10 pm and dressed up because its deb’s last weekend in manila. So we went to Embassy, and payed P500 just to get in. I really felt guilty right after I payed for my entrance because I could have bought 8 books of adarna publishing house for the story-telling sessions I conduct in Gawad Kalinga. I could have bought 500 pieces of doughnuts enough for all the kids in Baseco. Hah. Here we go again.

       So we danced – even though I didn’t like the music. I felt so bad for ditching my friends again because it’s kakay’s freedom night in ponti and I promised all of them that I’ll be there… I hope I wouldn’t end up disappointing them because I always took them for granted coz I was busy with Gk. At around 1pm, my feet were tired coz I did so many things in Baseco all day. Then I saw Billybert, who wanted to “get to know” more about deb. Haha. Too bad she’s leaving by Monday. Haha. So I didn’t really enjoy that night. I had 3 consumable drinks but gave them all away to this guy I knew. Lucky him? Haha. Its so weird because I used to enjoy going out. That was already a part of my lifestyle before. I couldn’t imagine myself staying at home during weekends. I can’t imagine myself not to go out on bars. That was drastic. But now, all of a sudden things change. Maybe Gk is really becoming a lifestyle for me. I couldn’t imagine myself going out when there are people who can’t even afford to eat 3 meals in a day. Gk is so beautiful, that I’m willing to do what it takes just to be part of this movement. Its so unbelievable how it transforms lives of people from different walks of life. I don’t know what to say… I guess its really Beyond Beautiful.